January 2011
32 posts
4:44 pm
I hate going to the gym.
It’s not that I hate running or working out or any of that stuff…I actually don’t mind it. I’m not one of those poeple who actually enjoy it, but an hour or more of having nothing to do but listen to music? Sounds good to me. But I hate the atmosphere of a gym. Maybe just crowded gyms. I dont mind going at night when its not crowded, but Marissa...
Oh, hey
I’m 21 :)
10:54 pm
So, I finally spoke to Jonathan about him tlaking to Rachel and how its been bothering me and how I just felt insecure and uncomfortable about the whole thing. So he decided to tell me what it was about. She wants to see Chase. She wants custody. He doesn’t want to give her any. Shes threatening to bring in lawyers. He says he already has some and hes ready for her. So now we have the...
5:48 pm
I turn 21 in 6 hours and 12 minutes.
On my twenty-first birthday I get the first installment of my trust.
Does that mean if I go check my bank account at midnight miracously there will be tons of moo-la in it? Or does some fat old guy in a suit come knockin on my door tomorrow morning with a check the size of a car. Oh the possibilities.
No but for reals, I should have found out how I actually...
i can't remember why i turned on my computer...
i know i had something to do, i just cant remember what…
i hate when this happens.
Is this everything that you’ve hoped for? Is this everything you’ve dreamed? Well I want it to be.
So in this hour Everything I do Will be all for this moment Everything’s for you My heart is open And willing So take it
When I’m lost and it seems the end, like there’s only certain death. You tell me to live. When dark clouds cover the sky, like there’s no...
i should not be doing this at work but !!!!!SO... →
11:11 pm
So, today was a busy day. Woke up at 8, finished classes around 5, in the middle of that had a meeting, ran home in between classes and walked my dogs, but then at 6 I headed over to an elementary school not too far away. I was supposed to be a guest lecture tonight for two groups of girl scouts, one at 6 one at 8. I’m pretty comfortable doing things like this so I wasn’t nervous, but...
1:54 am
jon’s friend just imed me and said just fyi jonathan left his fb logged in and i saw he had an open chat with rachel, thought u might want to know. i didnt read it so idk what its about but just in case ur curious.
jonathan and i havent discussed her since idk the holidays or whenevr we fought over her. but now i’m all worried and stressing again and i know i shouldn’t be but...
4:05 am
Also, I want new music, but not just any music. I want new favorite bands. I want new music that blows me away and captivates me and inspires me and makes me believe and want to live and love and feel. I want to discover something new and be excited about it and experience what its like again to, idk…be amazed. It doesn’t have to be new, new…just new to me. So, if you have any...
3:43 am
Today was a lot of fun. I woke up feeling worse then I have the past few days, went back to bed for another hour and woke up and still felt like shit. But Marissa came over for lunch to cheer me up :) she ended up staying over until about an hour ago. We decided to make today makeover and movie day lol. We did everything from hair to makeup to her tweezing my eyebrows (i hate doing it myself, i...
1:45 am
i dont know why my nights are always so bad. why they’re mostly spent fighting away demons and desires to revert to bad habits. why a optimistic bubbly sweet girl turns to a sad scared lonley girl. why some nights i can taste my dreams, i pour myself into my passions and work until i bleed, and why on other nights my dreams seem galaxys away and all i am is, well, me.
not guna lie,...
“Everyone must leave something behind when he dies. A child or a book or a...”
:)
I love more than anything being able to say that i’ve been in recovery for over a year now.
fuck. yes.
not having to answer in months or weeks, but getting able to say a year. a year.now that is power :)
i love that everyones proud of me. and i love that people look up to me. and i love that people are happy for me. and i love getting to speak to people about my experience and...
OMG!!!
SO!
Kate and my brother just called my other two brothers and Aryana and Jonathan and I, all one giant conference call. They said they wanted to talk about a suprise birthday party for my stepdad. Well. They lied. They told us Kate’s pregnant!!!!!! ahhh crazy right?! I am SO excited! I just kept saying “AHH OMG OMG AHHH” lol basically everyones response. Once everyone settled...
haha i love this
Chinese Mothers vs. Jewish Mothers
so true. and funny :)
read if you get a chance
Lovers & Leavers.
I don’t think most peopel can do what we do. Love like us, and leave like us. Go months and in the past almost an entire year apart, missing holidays and birthdays and having date nights via telephones trying to coordinate when to hit play at exactly the same time on our dvd players…idk if that makes us special or dumb. Probably both. Idk. All i do know is that the human heart is not...
6:44 pm
What if there’s nothing more to me? I’m just skin and bones, there’s no mystery.
What if we’re all just broken shelves, full of someone else’s thoughts?
What if there’s nothing more to us? We’re just carbon-based, We’re just pixie dust.
What if life is a magic trick? Some quick slight of hand just to make us think.
What if consciousness...
6:36 am
People think I’m crazy, I’m aware. 20 years old and much too young to know a thing about the world let alone it’s greatest prize But I don’t care what they think. We will prove you wrong. We are happy and young and in love, what more could anyone want.
What I don’t understand is why anyone would want to pick on what we have, as opposed to dream of something have as...
7:20 am
:(
