December 2009
116 posts
2:20 am
i feel like such shit.
all i want is to be in new york either alone on the fire escape or at the beach and see some people who i actually want to be with. thats kindof impracticle though, considering the time, where i am, and lack of finances to get home.
so i was thinking a more realistic thing i could do would be to go downstairs and find some random boy and fuck him for hours and then...
p.s. this fashion thing isnt a phase. stop acting like im guna grow out of it, its been about 15 years…i dont think im growing out of it anytime soon.
“When you have insomnia, you’re never really asleep… and you’re...”
(imissyou)
Where are you?
And I’m so sorry.
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight.
And as I stared I counted the webs from all the spiders catching things and eating their insides like indecision to call you and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight? stop this pain tonight
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-12-20) →
The Beatles (48)
The Scene Aesthetic (11)
blink-182 (3)
Miley Cyrus (2)
Lady GaGa (1)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
12:44 am
im scared to go to tht treatment center or w.e=/
basically, i dont have a choice. i mean, i kinda do cuz im 19 they cant force me to go and i can sign myself out when i please…but if i dont cooperate my dad is basically cutting me off w/ everything and not giving me a ticket to get back to florida and like, okay fine no shopping sprees i can deal lol but like …no food, no gas, no...
I guess I just lost my boyfriend, idk where he went. So I’m gonna drink his money, I’m not gonna pay his rent. I gotta brand new attitude & Im gonna wear it tonight. I wanna get in trouble, I wanna start a fight!
So, so what?
I’m still a rock star, I got my rock moves, and I don’t need you.
You weren’t there,
You never were,
You want it all,
But...
ummmm i just spent the past 10 minutes joking around convicing my dad to buy a private island and now hes legit considering it. lol u should have heard my argument. apparently im pretty persuasive. could u imagine how sick thtd be? doubt itll happen though and if it ever would it wouldnt be for a few years at least, but still haha
sickkkkk =)
8:55 pm
tonight was amazing, except for the fact that im being practically forced to go to a treatment center for annorexia when im not annorexic. must find a way out of tht D:
12:00 pm (HAWAII TIME AH
hypothetically, could u imagine…
hi this is my boyfriend dj trouble, the underwear model
lmao. kill me now i think thts worse then band boys.
awg. not sure how i feel about the entire world seeing him in his underwear lol but whatev awesome for him.
hes coming to visit for my birthday :) im excited.
P.S. hawaii is love so far. tell u deets laterrrrrrr
xox
edit// ikik tht last...
i miss my mommy :'(
“It’s got to be that can’t-eat, can’t- sleep, reach-for-...”
– It Takes Two
2:53 pm
fail the test fail the class lose my scholarship dont cone back to school….my anxiety rn is ridiculous.
p.s. if u see me doing or saying something which is negative or b.ci m upset or mean or angry or whatever anything of that sort, remind me of this post, and then im guna have to do two positive things/thoughts/whatever. may be cheesy and lame but im deteremined to be a better happier person lol
4:33 am
im so weird.
I get really envious of my friends who are in good relationships. I long for someone to love me. I swoon over so many boys. I really want to have a boyfriend. I want a boy to send me sweet texts and call me and pick me up from class and sit in the park with me and take me to ice cream shops and laugh at me when I do dumb things and tell all my secrets to and sing me songs and all...
Cross off stuff you've done.
fuckyeahskinnybitch:
bonesandstyle:
cinderellaash:warnthesun:dododokila: mollymisery: hebro: triangularshapedhipstertriangle: constantstateofflux: hannahdavison: ollie-bartlett: puddlesplasher: ashtrayheartedgirl: werehopeless:
Graduated High School. Kissed someone. Smoked cigarettes. Got so drunk you passed out. Rode every ride at an amusement park. Collected something really stupid. Gone...
i wish u could see me dancing to this right now =]
2:20 am
i feel like im going to die.
okay that night be atad drastic, but seriously im so nautious and lightheaded and just want to jfdxfdxjnmkdfxfdxj. i need food in my system except all i have is chocolate kisses and everythings closed and my friends arnt answering. and i havent been taking vitmans in quite some time so thts even better=l i need a banana or some bread or a burger or something. no...
“Maybe you had to leave in order to really miss a place; maybe you had to travel...”
– Jodi Picoult, Handle With Care (via ventisette)
522. IF YOU REALLY LOVE THEM, DON'T LET THEM GO.
partyscene:
(via gotwisdom)
i love this song.
this may or may not be one of...
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-12-13) →
Fall Out Boy (38)
The Cab (15)
The Fray (8)
The Rocket Summer (7)
Forever the Sickest Kids (2)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
13095.) I FAKED MY ORGASM :)
(via blogsecret)
okay ive never understood why people do this. can someone explain it to me? maybe its just cuz i ahve no problem with thatl ol but like, whats the point in faking it? it doesnt do u any good right? so does he get turned on by it? idk its just weird.
13125.) i see the people you've dated after me,...
(via blogsecret)
but then again, the chances of you being able to date someone as pretty or prettier then me…very slim.
i dont mean to be rude, but i mean, its true.
sorry asshole, u fucked up.
l.m.a.o.
omg im dying at my grandparents voicemail.
grandma: hello? hilay are u there? is this a voicemail or are u there? shaniala can u hear me?
grandpa: lillian obviously shes not there.
grandma: you never know how am i supposed to know! wait. it says call waiting shes calling. hello? hilary? it says shes calling are u calling or are u here?
grandpa: oh give it to me ill work the damn contraption
grandma: NO! i know how to work it its just a phone you always get so angry let me do it!
grandpa: thats because you can never do anything. all you do is complain and make other people do things for you but when i offer u get mad. fine here u do it yourself see if you can talk to her
grandma: hil are u there? its nana. call us back when we get a chance i miss you and love you cant wait to see you!
grandpa: told you you wouldnt be able to get it to work.
grandma: here say hi to her
grandpa: hiiiiiiiiiiiii hilary! i missssssssssss you! are you studying for finals?!?! MAKE SURE YOU DO WELL! dont forget, study hard THEN play hard. but not too hard! i miss you cant wait to see your pretty face in just a few days! you leave me alone with this crazy nut i need some sanity
grandma: i am not a crazy nut
grandpa: shes [sarcastically] sooo sick we cant ever leave the house
grandma: I AM SICK! YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THE PAIN IM IN!
grandpa: alright ill let you go call us back sometime ill give nana the phone again, HERE LIL KEEP IT QUICK!
grandma: hes so annoying i cant wait till you come we'll have so much fun hes a grouch as usual dont mind him. alright study hard call us we miss you! love you shainala
grandpa: TELL HER TO GO TO HILLEL ITS HANNUKAH IS SHE CELEBRATING? make sure she goes to some hillel meetings!
grandma: join hillel! go to the meetings its hannukah they prob have a party or a dinner eat some latkas ur too skinny meet a boy, A JEWISH BOY! a jewish doctor. have robert introduce you to soem of his medical students friends, make sure their jewish!
grandpa: thats enough lillian tiem to hang up
grandma: okay bye hil call me! love you!
////
11:18 pm
idky but im so sad lately. things have been kinda shitty but it usually doesnt get to me this badly. cheer me up?
Frank talk with Lady Gaga →
good read if your interested
http://www.letssaythanks.com/ →
check out this site. you choose a card [which are all really cute drawings from little kids], write your name where your friend and either submit a pre-made message or write your own and it’ll get delivered to a soldier for the holidays. sucks being away on the holidays, and i know a card isnt much, but it will brighten their day. it only takes 30 sec, its the least you can do =]
8:05 am [warning: boy rant]
Awgggggggg I cant stop thinking about stef now. Lol my life I need to sleep and stop swooning. Or at least find boys my age and in the same state lol but I mean, I blame him. If he wasn’t so damn likeable, I wouldn’t be sitting here liking him lol. Great logic right? Its weird like weve been ‘friends’ for…like almost two years now, but ive only liked him for like 2 or 3 months. But he just has the...
so sweet
Urkel: Laura, I know that I'm not worthy of you, but I just can't help loving you. It's like wanting to touch a star- you know you'll never reach it but you've just gotta keep trying.
Laura: [crying] Steve why do you always say things like that?
Urkel: These last 2 weeks have been wonderful for me. It's the closest I'll ever get to marrying you- thats why I wanted you to have this- no strings attached- just the one to my heart.
6:56 am
Okay I guess I should give an update since im nto doing anything and nobodys awake to talk to lol. Its almost 6am, im starved but I only have ice cream. Its too frozen to eat. The dining hall opens in an hour. Kay so this week rly wasn’t that exciting, but that’s okay.
So last Friday was my concert. Im working on a music performance minor b.c apparently im already like halfway there due to...
5:24 am
its cool how i usually go to bed around now except today i woke up about half an hour ago lol
yay im so proud of myself =]! still didnt sleep much, but at least its during normal sleeping hours hah
daily roommate rant #93
my roomate disgusts me so much. i like cant take it anymore lol alot of things she does grosses me out…like leaving dirty tissues everywhere, or leaving her dirty underwer anywhere she pleases [and i dont just man dirty like she wore them once therefore it must be dirty, which in the case of underwear is true, but like there are gross stains in them.] but i think one of the things tht...
2:51 pm
watching teen mom. itd be cool if i could stop crying =l
4:57 am
insomnia is hell. turning off everything. i probably wont be asleep for another few hours though =[ D:< this siht sucks.